What more could you want from your coastal Kent hideaway than a sauna and wellness space, massage room, DJ area, private cinema and bar? Well, how about an indoor beach complete with sand and deckchairs? A place where you can get a tan under Real Sunlight? That’s right. Ocean Sun Manor is beautifully, brilliantly bonkers.
But the beachside living doesn’t end indoors. That might be dull. Your own private seawall walkway takes you directly to Kent’s sandy beaches. And all around an hour from London. Hosted by a small army of koi carp, Ocean Sun Manor sleeps 15 family, friends and children (and a dog) in eight boutique bedrooms.
Inside, grab some popcorn from the machine in the kitchen and join Netflix and Amazon Prime in the 3D cinema room with theatre seats. There’s Bluetooth for your windswept beach music, superfast Wi-Fi streaming and all manner of creative communal spaces. Ocean Sun Manor might be in Kent, but it takes you somewhere else altogether.
Follow your own private seawall walkway to reach the greatest outside space of all – the beach at Dymchurch. Back at base, you can wander the large private outside garden with deckchairs and seating. Say hi to the koi in the pond.
Eat out on the terrace with bangers and burgers from the barbecue. Light the firepit at night, chuck on a throw and chat over Prosecco. Follow the winding path out to the Himalayan-salt gemstone sauna with its wellness space.
Bring your beach towel. Whether you make it down the private beach walkway or not, you’ll enjoy sun and sand 24/7 in the indoor beach room. Decked out in beachy white with blue sails, this space gives you a Tiki DJ turntable set-up – connect your phones and mix away – and Real Sunlight technology for a slice of sun-drenched paradise.
Backing onto the sunroom, you’ve got an exclusive Ibiza-style Nikki Beach-themed living area to kick back in with complimentary drinks and choccies on the soft sofas and egg chairs. A private bar comes with bar stools and charging points. Break out the Bluetooth and bop over cocktails.
Just when you thought this place couldn’t get any more bonkers, along comes the cinema room. Sit traditional-style on old-style theatre seating or sprawl on beanbags, then help yourself to popcorn from the machine as you delve into Amazon Prime and Netflix on the 3D TV and piles of DVDs and Blu-rays.
Looking for a pick-me-up? Get a rub-down from a professional masseuse in the massage room or book a little meditation in the wellness room. Living spaces at Ocean Sun Manor are designed to help you shake off the city with all the facilities of a foreign resort without ever brandishing a boarding pass.
If you’ve ever fancied cooking in a commercial kitchen, now’s your chance. There’s a range gas cooker with seven-burner hob, fridge-freezer and microwave for the great gastronome that’s always lived inside. But if you’d prefer another hour or two on the indoor beach, slap on the sunscreen and call up our chefs.
Eat around the large double table that can be split for large groups. Backing onto the beach area, the dining table overlooks the gardens and pond. Prefer to be out there in the sea air? You’ve a gas barbie for searing in the sunshine, table and chairs and bench seating for all 15 of you.
Get your Just Eat app open and tuck into takeaway treats from Aspendos for kebabs and pizzas, The Tasty House for Chinese and the Tandoori Hut for tikkas and shasliks. Head out to local pubs Ship Inn for sharers such as fish platter and Moroccan-style lamb, or The Neptune for carveries from the rotisserie kitchen.
Push the boat out with fine bistro food from The Grand at Folkestone, perched on the cliffs and waving at France. Try a set four-course dinner from Romney Bay, under the classically trained expertise of Clinton, former Ritz second chef. Or eat out on the terrace at the Sandgate Lounge with its Channel views.
The slosh of the sea provides the calming soundtrack to some serious shut-eye in eight beautiful boutique themed bedrooms.
Pondicherry is a twin Indian colonial-theme suite with swing and en-suite. Warm your toes on the underfloor heating. Time Traveller offers twin walnut beds and en-suite with a rolltop bath within the room with privacy screen. Versailles provides a double gold-leaf bed with a Jacuzzi bath shared with Imagine.
John Lennon would love all-white Imagine, with its queen-sized bed, electric guitar and piano for composing a ballad. Wonder what he’d call it? Bling is a king-size with smart TV, en-suite Jacuzzi rolltop bath and shower and underfloor heating, while Goldie offers a king-size gold-leaf bed, marble fireplace and en-suite bathroom with walk-in shower.
Kids will love en-suite surfers’ den, with its Jacuzzi bath, beanbags. bunk beds, X-Box and DVD player. Who knows, they might even sleep as well? Finally, Gangster Granny offers a single motorised bed with Jacuzzi bathroom shared with Versailles and Imagine.
Parenthood is tough. It’s down to you to make the memories that make their childhoods. But fire their imaginations with stimulating environments and you’ll barely need to lift a finger, barring the odd piggyback down to the beach with the family dog. It would be hard to imagine a more stimulating environment than Ocean Sun Manor.
It all begins in the indoor beach, featuring Real Sunlight technology, ensuring daily doses of vitamin D without leaving the house. Sun, sand and deckchairs are all laid on and the grown-ups can supervise from the indoor bar. You can even spin some sounds on the Tiki DJ set-up.
Older kids will be able to get steamy in the Himalayan-salt gemstone garden sauna, while everyone will love the cinema room, bursting with DVDs and Blu-rays and equipped with beanbags as well as six traditional-style theatre seats and themed décor.
Outside, the garden’s big enough for lawn games, yet compact enough for supervision. It’s a peaceful place with koi carp in the pond and the sound of the sea never far distant. If it calls you loudly enough, you’ve got direct access onto Dymchurch beach over a private seawall walkway. Holiday complete.