‘Duck or grouse’ says the sign over the front door. That’s a matter for the local Brecon restaurants. Here on site at Coed Farm, the questions you’ll want to ask are ‘Inside or out?’ and ‘Can we change the locks?’ For 12 friends and family, hens or stags, this is a modern marvel in a Welsh-mountain wonderland.
Everything is big here: as big as the Brecon Beacons that loom over this corner of Wales. Coed Farm is spatial and palatial. The TV in the cinema room? It’s 75 inches. The hot tub? Good for eight. The wood-fired oven with the mother of all firepits? Big. The rural views that roar at you over the fence? You won’t be disappointed.
Inside, amid the beams and the leather armchairs, you’ll cook on the AGA, mix it up with Netflix, movies and Sky Sports in the cinema room, shoot pool in the games room, and post your images to Insta on the Vodafone 5G. Sleep deeply in beautiful bedrooms with Black-Mountain views. Then return the keys. Please.
Which is more fun here? Inside or out? The garden makes its case with its field-like proportions and fabulous features. You half-expect sheep grazing on the sprawling lawn. But before you get that far from the bi-folds, you’ll want to hang around in the eight-berth hot tub and sizzle in the barrel sauna on the terrace.
There’s boules and netball to play on the lawn, wooden noughts and crosses, swings and slides for the kids, and the Holy Grail of firepits. It comes with barbecue grill and separate fire grate within the wood-fired oven. Pile your pizzas high, warm your hands beneath dark skies and stay out for the summer. Or autumn, or winter.
Outdoors sets the bar high, but indoor living spaces come with all the equipment you need to detach yourself from the daily bothers of life. Coed Farm is big but cosy, a reminder that you’re on a working farm, with farmhouse flags, homely beams, and two wood-burning fires to load up and gape at.
The main living space comes with an L-shaped sofa that needs its own postcode and there’s a 64-inch TV with Sky Sports for anyone unwilling to miss the match. The screen gets bigger in the cinema room: close the blinds, bagsy the bean bag and curl up in front of the 75-inch monster smart TV.
Bookcase-raiders can do just that: there’s a full one to loot and a snug to smuggle the goods into. The Vodafone 5G’s good for posting images to Insta. Need sounds? A Sonos does the job nicely. And competitive dads (or mums) can do battle in the games room over pool, darts and board games.
Croeso. And what better way to welcome you to Wales than with a full hamper? Work your way through flowers, red and white wine, Welsh cakes, Bara Brith, bread, butter, milk, crisps, jam and marmalade. Top up the goodies as you go along with fizz from Hay Wines and meat from Morgan’s. Keep the Nespressos coming from the kitchen.
Cook on the electric double oven, gas AGA and the wood-fired oven, with four induction rings and two more on the AGA. Or don’t cook at all. Call up the experts from Off-grid Gourmet for a wind- and wood-powered supper or Arabella’s Private Dining for tasting menus, canapés, afternoon teas, Prosecco brunches and casual dining.
Grab tasty takeaways in Brecon from Gurkha Corner for traditional Nepalese, Chang Thai for Chinese, and Tad Cod for good old lightly battered fish and chips. Or head out to Groesfordd to The Three Horseshoes for cosy gastro, like haunch of wild venison or salt-baked celeriac washed down with a winner from the wine menu.
Head out to Felinfach to The Felin Fach Griffin, for menus driven by whatever arrives at the back door, including beef cheek, battered haddock and black pudding sausage roll. Or perhaps it’ll be crispy pork belly and black pudding fritter followed by grilled halloumi and poached-pear salad at Foyle’s of Glasbury.
Six delightfully modern bedrooms sleep 12 here with the option of adding two travel cots. Choose carefully – there’s a Juliet balcony and dressing room or French doors with a staircase down to the garden to be had for those quick off the mark. Whichever room you choose, you’ll sleep like a rock in the long shadow of the Black Mountains.
Bedroom one, Waun Fach, is a kingsize en-suite that comes with that Juliet balcony and a 48-inch smart TV with Sky package, and bedroom two, Pen y Gadair Fawr, is also kingsize. Both bedrooms take a travel cot. Bedroom three, Pen Allt-Mawr, offers a double bed, while bedroom four, Rhos Dirion, is a twin with zip-and-link.
Bedroom five, Crug Mawr, comes with a 28” smart TV and kingsize bed, while bedroom six, Penybegwn, is also a kingsize with a 28” TV. Bedrooms five and six will take a travel cot and six offers French doors that lead down stone steps to the garden.
There’s a whole field-load of fun out there in the garden, with the hot tub bubbling and boiling away with its meadow views. Stay out there for boules, netball, wooden noughts and crosses, and the swings and slides. Want to keep the cleaners busy? We even provide large chalks for getting truly creative.
Anyone wanting to be a cool kid can hang around long after the pizza oven’s gone cold and feign invisibility while the grown-ups warm their paws and chew the fat around the firepit. Bring your football for the one-acre garden and your binoculars to scan the inky-black skies.
Inside is kid-friendly all the way, from the 5G Vodafone to the board games, books, crayons and everything you need to bake cupcakes. And that’s before you’ve discovered the games room, with its dartboard, pool table, punchball and quoits. Keep the sounds coming on the Sonos.
There’s Sky Sports and Netflix available on the 64-inch curved living-room smart TV and Netflix on the 75-inch smart TV in the cinema room. Draw the blinds, grab the popcorn and stake your claim for the beanbag. Bedrooms five and six also come with 28-inch smart TVs.